


The Brave Princess Bride

by GhostJ



Category: Brave (2012), Princess Bride (1987)
Genre: Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fictional characters reading about other fictional characters, Gen, Sickfic, The Princess Bride is a temporal nexus, fight me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:08:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28060665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostJ/pseuds/GhostJ
Summary: “Why, I just told you.” Elinor said, letting the well-traveled book fall open on her lap. “It’s a book of adventure. Of brave heroes and wicked villains. There’s pirates and magic… Even giants.”
Comments: 23
Kudos: 37
Collections: Yuletide 2020





	1. Chapter 1 - Buttercup was raised on a small farm in the country of Florin...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ladymcgilvra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladymcgilvra/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide! I was very excited to see several of my own favourites on your list and rather had a flash of family-bonding inspiration; I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Direct quotes from the original media are in _italics_ and are used lovingly with full acknowledgement that I own neither the Princess Bride nor Brave. Note that chapter titles also come directly from The Princess Bride.
> 
> Big thanks to [Clocketpatch](/users/Clocketpatch/) for their supportive yelling :D

“I’m sorry dear, but you’re still altogether too hot for my liking.”

Elinor, the queen of Clan DunBroch, sighed as she ran her hand through her daughter’s sweat-soaked curls. As much as she might occasionally wish for quieter household, it was a sad day indeed when any of her brood were to be found where she last left them.

“It’s the fault of all these blankets, it is!” Her eldest grumped, even as Merida snuggled deeper into their brick-heated warmth. “And the fire. If you’d just let me go outside, I’d be hale in no time.”

It was only her experience in managing the prickly pride of clan heads that let Elinor hold back a giggle at how disgruntled her daughter sounded. Although, to everyone’s relief, Merida was now well on the road to recovery, they both knew that it would be a good few days before she was doing anything more strenuous than sitting up.

Elinor gave herself a few moments to school her expression by pretending to sort through the small stack of books she’d brought along, intent on taking a few moments pleasure in spending time in her daughter’s presence. Not that she was any happier to have Merida bed-bound than her rambunctious daughter was to be there, but Elinor had learned to take advantage of what time she could before Merida was off on another adventure.

“Well, seeing as you are unable go on an adventure right now, how about we read a book? Afterall, a book is like an adventure for your mind.” Elinor said, politely pretending not to notice Merida rolling her eyes and quietly parroting along to often asserted adage from their academic lessons. Elinor figured she could forgive some attitude as a sign of her daughter’s recovery after all and settled onto the seat she’d earlier moved beside the bed.

“What type of book?” Merida asked, suspicion dripping from every word, as she tried to sit up out of her nest of blankets to catch a glimpse of the book’s cover.

Elinor gave her pointed look and, with a sigh, her daughter sank back down, although into a more reclined sitting position than her earlier sprawl.

“Why, I just told you.” Elinor said, letting the well-traveled book fall open on her lap. “It’s a book of adventure. Of brave heroes and wicked villains. There’s pirates and magic… Even giants.”

Elinor figured she might be laying it on rather thick, but she also remembered that Fergus had rather been sold by the giants.

“I guess that sounds alright.” Merida said, sounding somewhat mollified. “There won’t be any kissing or the like. Will there?”

“I mean, it would not be much of a tale if I told you the path before we have even looked down the road.” Elinor said, trailing off dramatically as she made a big show of closing the book to tuck it away. “But mayhap you would prefer if I come back later with a different tale and let you sleep a bit longer for now? Perhaps you are in need of more rest yet.”

“No! It’s fine! I’m not tired.” Merida interrupted, speaking so frantically that Elinor was quite certain her daughter hadn’t heard her quiet chuckle. “I’m feeling So! Much! Better! Maybe by the time you’re done your book, I’ll be so hale that you’ll let me go outside?”

Elinor smiled at her daughter’s pleading and appeared to mull over the proposition, knowing full well that for all of Merida’s boredom, her daughter was far more likely to fall asleep within the first chapter than to last through the full tale.

“We will see dear.” Elinor said, as she flipped across well-loved pages to the start. “ _All right…_

_Buttercup was raised on a small farm in the country of Florin. Her favourite pastimes were riding her horse-”_

“Like me!” Elinor allowed herself a smile as Merida gave a small, but gloriously cough-free, cheer.

“Yes dear, for all I don’t think Buttercup ever wandered into a frozen pond on her rambles. _Her favourite pastimes were riding her horse and tormenting the farm boy who worked there. His name was Westley_ …”


	2. I will go up to the sixfingered man and say...

“Oh, now she’s gonna spend her days a’wastin’ and a’wailing.” Merida scoffed as she thumped the bed in a show of frustration. “I don’t understand why she didn’t just go with him! I mean, she doesn’t seem much of a farmer, so she might as well give piracy a go.”

Elinor took another measured sip of water as she looked over her extremely _uninterested_ daughter, happily taking note of the healthy flush that was making her face almost the shade of red as her hair.

“And instead, she’s just gonna marry the Prince?!” Merida continued, almost snarling in her disapproval. “She doesn’t even love him! She loves Westley. She said so herself! So, why isn’t she doing _ANYTHING_?!”

Elinor put down her glass and considered her response.

“I’ve always thought that Buttercup was being brave in her own way.” Elinor said, measuring her words to her, so fiercely, so wonderfully daring, daughter carefully. “Listen to how the people cheer for seeing her, for seeing their new Princess, even with how sad she is herself. She has given them hope and that’s no small thing to do.”

“I guess… If she’ll be queen and all, that’s a good thing?” Merida said, grousing a bit, but appearing to at least consider Elinor’s words. “But! I still think she’d feel a lot better if she’d just challenge the Prince for the Kingdom and didn’t bother with any of the rest of it.”

“As you say, Merida,” Elinor chuckled indulgently, as she picked up the book again. “How about I carry on and we will find out?

Now, _despite Humperdinck's reassurance that she would grow to love him, the only joy she found was in her daily ride…”_

* * *

“That’s Westley, then isn’t it?” Merida interrupted excitedly, as Elinor began describing boat with black sails tracing the brigand’s path through eel infested waters. “The ‘Man in Black’. That must be Westley! There’s no other reason someone would follow them all that ways.”

“Well, she is being kidnapped,” Elinor pointed out. “Is that not enough reason for someone to follow? To try to rescue her?”

“Mama,” Merida whined and Elinor could almost hear her eyes rolling in their sockets. “It’ll be Westley, it _has_ to be. I mean, she couldn’t even beat _one_ giant, I don’t ken why anyone else would bother.”

“Remember Merida, that regardless of what your father says, a person’s value is not solely defined by how many giants they can defeat in battle.” Elinor said, her voice slipping, as her father’s once did, into the leader’s nasal tones.

“ _Probably some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night through eel-infested waters…”_

“Merida, dear, _the eel doesn’t get her._ ” Elinor said breaking from the narration to address her daughter who was clutching at the coverlet with white-tipped fingers.

“I, I wasn’t worried!” Merida sputtered, even as she took a deep breath under her mother’s watchful stare. “And, and even if she were eaten; it’d be her own fault for getting kidnapped like some daft bint!”

“Merida!” Elinor chided, almost dropping the book in her shock.

“Sorry mom…” Merida grumbled, sounding entirely unaffected by Elinor’s remonstration, even as she gave a slight cough from her exertions.

“Maybe we should take a break?” Elinor suggested, looking at her worriedly. “You’re getting very involved for someone who’s supposed to be resting, all this worrying cannot be good for your recovery.”

“No!” Merida said, her eyes wide and pleading as she made a show of reclining back onto her pillows. “I’m, I’m not involved or worried about _her_.”

Elinor huffed and studied her daughter for a long moment before settling back into her seat continue.

“It’s alright to be worried dear, but a princess should mind her words.” Elinor gave her daughter a speaking look. “Buttercup is having a hard enough time as it is without you calling her names.”

“Yes, mom.”

“When then, moving on.

 _Do you know what that sound is, Highness?_ "

* * *

“ _I will go up to the sixfingered man and say, "Hello, my name is-_ ”

“You killed my father!” “Prepare to die!”

“Shhh, that’s nae right. You _ruined_ it!”

Elinor paused her reading and looked at her daughter who, although somewhat startled by the interruption, arising as it did from under her bed, looked fit to break into giggles at any moment.

Elinor bent over and slowly lifted up the trailing edge of a comforter, revealing three small, and somewhat dusty, faces peering out at her from the darkness.

“Hello dears,” Elinor chuckled warmly. “Would you like to come out and join your sister and I? I guess your father has read this one to you before?”

“Yes! We like the bit where the giant ties up the Prince and drags him through the swamp!” Hamish crowed as he and his bothers scrambled up the bedposts to snuggle up alongside their sister.

“And then the giant leaves him tied up to a tree to get eaten by the R.O.U.S” Harris agreed, giving his brother a small shove to remind him to make room as he picked up the tale.

“I like the bit where Buttercup marries the giant and they become the new King and Queen.” Hubert said, as he squeezed in between his brothers, all of them snuggled up against their sister’s side as they looked expectantly at their mother.

To say that Elinor was uncertain how to proceed was an understatement as, not only was she uncertain how to match whatever highly-edited version Fergus had used to entertain their sons, she did not want to.

“That’s the next one, right mom?” Merida prompted, giving her a commiserating smile. “Dad must have read them the one about Buttercup’s sister.”

“Right…” Elinor said, somewhat flustered. “The one about Buttercup’s twin sister, who is also named Buttercup.”

Elinor valiantly ignored her daughter’s snort of laughter at her obvious discomfort. “The giant was always Fergus’ favourite character.”

“But not ours!” Cried the triplets, stumbling over each other’s voices in a rush to continue the introduction. “Hello, my name is-”

“Yes, yes dears.” Elinor pointedly flipped open the book. “But we should probably let him finish introducing himself to be polite afterall,

 _I will go up to the sixfingered man and say, "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die._ ”


	3. At noon, she met her subjects again. This time as their Queen…

“Didn’t I say it was Westley?!” Elinor echoed her daughter’s pleased grin back at her even with the interruption. “I told you, mom. There was no way he’d gotten himself killed by some silly pirates.”

“Yes, Merida.” Elinor said indulgently. “You certainly figured it out.”

“Ha! And now they can run away together and rule the High Seas!” Merida said smugly.

“But, but, mom!” Elinor turned her attention to her boys who were looking less proud and more confused.

“Where’s the giant?” “Dinnae the giant sit on the Man in Black until-” “His wee twig-like bones snapped and he cried-” “Like a babe?”

“Remember that was Buttercup’s twin sister… Buttercup.” Elinor said, hoping that the tone of her voice, if not the explanation would calm them a bit. “In this version the Man in Black has defeated the giant, but mayhap he will return later on.”

The three boys looked at her askance.

“Well,” Hamish said, rallying. “Maybe this means the Man in Black’ll get eaten by a R.O.U.S!”

“I suppose we will just have to see, but I am certain there will be danger for him along the way.” Elinor assured them as she sought her place.

_“When you found out he was gone, did you get engaged to your prince that same hour, or did you wait a whole week out of respect for the dead?”_

* * *

“And this is why _all_ Princesses need to learn to use the bow.” Elinor sighed at the interruption, but nodded begrudgingly at her daughter’s argument. “They would’ve had no problems if Buttercup could just shoot all them R.O.U.S! And now Westley’s gone and gotten himself half-eaten, all because she couldn’t be bothered to learn something useful!”

“Don’t worry!” Harris turned to console his sister even as his brothers began to chatter. “The giant’ll come along-” “And tie their tails together!” “The giant always beats the Rodents of Unusual-”

“DID I HEAR SOMEONE SAY ‘RODENTS OF UNUSUAL SIZE’?!”

Elinor held back a startled cry as her husband, King Fergus, slammed open the door and roared into the room to the obvious delight of this children.

“Looks like I arrived at the best part!” He continued. He closed the door behind him and dropped a kiss on Elinor’s cheek as he made his way over the large bed.

“How you feeling, lass?” Fergus asked as he rested a large hand against Merida’s brow, his voice easily heard over the cheery din of three boys yelling “Dad!” “Dad!” “Dad!”. “Remember, you’d best be doing what your Queen tells you. The faster you’re on the mend, the faster you’re back outside.”

“Yes, Dad.” Merida said and then gave a giggle as Fergus sunk to the floor to sit against the side of the bed, positioning himself so he was eye-level with their children while taking obvious care to not block their view of their mother. This of course did nothing to stop him from being immediately swamped by three, growling, young boys.

Elinor gave a giggle herself, at the sight of her husband trying to valiantly hold off three, rather small, R.O.U.S.

“Auch, no!” Fergus cried bouncing Hubert upside down while Harris and Hamish perched on his shoulders. “What say you, Elinor? Should I tie their tails together?”

“Funny you should mention that, _Dear_.” Elinor said pointedly. “As I do believe that in _this_ version, Buttercup and Westley are making their way through the Fire Swamp all alone. Much to our boys’ disappointment.”

Elinor winked at Merida as Fergus, having been rather caught out, blushed a red to almost rival their daughter’s hair.

“Although I am sure they would fare better for his presence.” Elinor said kindly, as she rested a slippered foot against her husband’s shin and reoriented herself to the tale.

“’ _Westley!’ Buttercup shouts, as Westley abandons his sword…"_

* * *

“That ain’t right!” Elinor calmly places a finger to mark her place as she looks over a veritable sea of disagreeing faces, all looking like they support her daughter’s interruption, including her husband's. “She can’t marry the Prince! IF- _IF_ she’s gonna marry _anyone_ , it should be Westley!”

“The giant, mum!” “She’s supposed to marry the giant!” The boys interrupted in chorus. “It’s not fair!”

“Not everything is my dears.” Elinor replied, although not unsympathetically.

“Don’t you worry my kits,” Fergus started soothingly, although he cut off at Elinor’s glare. “I, I mean, why don’t we let your mother finish telling the tale?”

“Yes, _thank you_ , dear.

 _All right, then. No more interruptions. ‘At noon, she met her subjects again. This time as their Queen…’_ ”


	4. The end.

_“The end._ ”

Elinor smiled at her husband, closing the book as he stretched, easily hoisting his, now sleeping, burdens into his arms as he stood up.

“But only because of the giant.” Fergus said, giving her a cheeky smile.

“Yes, Dear. Only because of the giant’s forward thinking and dedication to his friends.” Elinor agreed softly, as she stood and made her way over to his side to say goodnight to her sleepily blinking daughter.

Fergus gave Merida a gentle kiss on her forehead and stepped back being making his way to deliver their other, no less precious bundles, to the neighbouring room. 

Elinor took a moment to rest the back of her hand against Merida’s forehead before giving her a soft kiss on her cheek.

“You are doing so well, dear.” She assured her as she smoothed back her daughter’s hair. “You will be up and running through the hills and down the glen before you know it.”

Merida gave her mum a small shy smile and let out a soft yawn. “Maybe though, if I’m still sick tomorrow, you could come back? And we could read it again?”

Elinor smiled as she blew out the candle resting beside Merida’s bed.

“As you wish, dear. As you wish.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as you can probably tell, this started to get more than a bit away from me! But to be clear - this is the "end" of the fic. I hope you enjoyed :D and that you enjoy the "Bonus Content" in the next chapter :D 
> 
> I also hope that it didn't end up too choppy, but I was starting to get perilously close to rewriting it in it's entirety and I don't think any of us need that! I’m also gonna make a note that this might be the longest thing I’ve ever written in one go...


	5. Bonus Content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every good movie has "bonus content", right?  
> Here are two small blurbs of thought that didn't fit into the overall story thread, but definitely, _definitely_ happened :)

“Soo what I’m hearin’” Elinor elected to continue reading as Merida muttered, quietly, if cheekily to her father. “Is that in times of utmost trouble we should be asking after the witch in the woods?”

“Ha!” Fergus gave a gruff laugh, whispering his response as Elinor glared at them, but didn’t stop describing the small hut of the magic workers. “It would take a miracle.”

* * *

“Alright, I’ll concede that I might have changed a few points meself, but you, Lass. You left out the best part!” Fergus chided Elinor teasingly as, now relieved of his burdens, they made their way to their own chambers for the night.

“You mean the part where the giant fights Prince Humperdink for Buttercup’s hand and crushes his bones to dust?” Elinor smiled at him, pleased to see the blush crawling back along his cheeks.

“Nah! The kiss!” Fergus said as he pulled the doors to their room open so she could step inside. “It’s the most perfect kiss-”

(Sometime later)

“Auch, aye, that one was pretty good too…”


End file.
